Ek subah aisi bhi

Ek subah hua yuin ki hum bistar se uthe bhi nahi aur ek kaala mota aadmi mere saamne aake khada ho gaya. Mujhe laga Kahin main sapna to nahi dekh raha. Darr ke uthkar baith gaya. Bola koi chor daaku ghus aaya hai lagta hai. Saale ko tizori ki chaabi nahi mili to uthane aa gaya hoga. Ab Is bewakoof ko kaun samjhaaye ki ATM ke zamane mein paise ghar pe kaun rakhta hain. Faaltu ke meri neend kharab kar daala. Bara darr bhi lag raha tha. Kala aisa ki daamar ka ghamand todh de. Mucchein ya baddi baddi. Abe yeh kya......sar pe sing pe hain uske......oye mar gaye yaar.....yeh to yamraaj lag raha hai mujhe. Nazar thodi usse hati to dekhta huun........ek haath mein rassi.....oye angrez de puttar......rope rope....kehte hai.....aur dushra chod....i mean the other end ek lambe chaude buffalo ke gale mein bandhi thi. Us bhainsh ne kaafi dino se dhoya nahi thi....kaafi badboo aa rahi thi usse. Khair back to situation of crisis. Bande ne bola finally........ Abe kis language mein bol rahe ho maharaj????? Oye hoye yeh to meri fav language sanskrit mein kuch bol rahe hain....lekin char saal ke padhai mein aur kitana yaad rahega. Sandhi vicched aur ramah ramam ramaan aise hi kuch kuch yaad aa raha tha. Saala desperation mein bhi comedy sujh raha tha. Maine himmat karke bola sanskrit gottila( kannad mein bola thoda impress karne ke liye which means sanskrit nahi aati). Hindi english ya bengali mein translate karke bole prabhu. Prabgu ki leela aparampar hai bhai. Kisi bhi bhasa mein aapse baatein kar sakte hain. Garazkar hindi, hamari rashtra bhasa mein bole.....chal bete bahut so liya, ab tera time ho gaya hai,  swarg mein kuch din bita le fir nark mein kaafi time bitana hai. 

Meri to sitti pitti gum..... Lekin darr ke saath gusssa bhi bahut aaya. Abe job se bhi nikalte hai to 1-2 week notice milta hai, aur yeh to zindagi ka sawal hai. Kam se kam 1 month to banta hai yaar. Meri biwi ko bank accounts ka kuch pata nahi. Saare password use batane hain. Credit cards ke bill chukane hain. India money transfer karna hai. House rent bhi dena hai parso. Mere bacche ko school kaun chodega. Abe mere saath mere family ko kyun disturb kar raha hai khote. Yeh to comedy se tragedy mein tabdeel ho rahi hai. Maine kaha beta aise kitane situation maine patiently handle kiye hain. Yeh to aar ya paar ki siruation hain. Darega to marega aur fir kuch nahi karega. Maine usse kaha.....maharaj thoda shower wagerah le lo aur apne buffalo ko bhi clean kar lo. Mere apartment mein pets policy thodi strict hai. No pets allowed aur aap to itna wadda ganda janwar le aaye ho. Apartment waale bhi mujhe bina notice ke nikal denge aur security deposit bhi refund nahin karenge.
Maharaj bole ab to tere saath hi nahaunga yamlok mein. Lets go fatafat. Ek do ko aur uthana hai. Abe aise bol raha hai jaise shopping karne nikla hai. Bacchoon ki jaan lene nikla hai saitaan kahin ka. Kaash Aru ya meri maa hoti to abhi daant dapat ke bhaga deti. Paheli baar apneaap ko ashay mehsoos kar raha huun. Mushibat mein log prabhu ko yaad karte hai. Yahan to rakshak hi bhakshak ban ke aaya hai. Kise yaad karun???? Bachao bachao kehte kehte main bhagne ki koshish karne laga. Yeh mere pairoon ko kya ho gaya. Dekhta huun mera beta arjun mere paon ko pakad rakha hai. Oye apne hi baap se gaddari. Chod de mere baap.... Chocolate doonga...... Kaafi struggle ke baad meri aankh khool hi gaya. Sssala horror se bharpur sapna tha. Dekhta kya huun arjun sach mein mere paon ko apne daant se katne ki koshish kar raha hai.
Main jhath uthke usko gale laga liya aur mere ankhon mein thode aansun aa gaye. Socha abhi to isko kitana kuch sikhana hai. Come on god, not this soon.

Apne zindagi ko aaj salaam kehta huun
Har ek din ko main apna inaam kehta huun
Jee le is zindagi ko jaise kal koi kal nahi
Upar se call aa bhi gaya to koi gal nahi